Accepted for publication in "Sage Woman"
What makes someone beautiful is the light in their eyes and the depth of their souls. It emanates from their heart and shines through any outer disguise. Sometimes being blessed with outward beauty can be a curse because that is all people look at instead of searching deeper to see who a person really is. There are all kinds of beauty in the world. Some people are ugly both inside and outside. Some people are beautiful both inside and out. I have known people that are beautiful on the outside but do such ugly acts that they become ugly people. Others I have known were very homely people but their warmth and kindness have erased any outward appearance and they have become truly beautiful.
When I was in college, I met a girl from a small country town. She had crooked teeth and was rather homely. She spoke with a country hick accent and pronounced words differently than I had ever heard others speak them. Her clothes were out of date and had a funny old fashioned style to them. I thought she was really odd and yet she was always very friendly and outgoing. After a while I got so I enjoyed her more and more. We started working together in Sunday School with young children and became good friends.
It is true that often people become beautiful as we get to know them. She found out that I was really hoping to finish college because I had only a couple of quarters left but I had a new baby and couldn't afford a sitter. She told me she wanted to help me and to bring my son over when I needed to go to class. I offered to pay her but she said no, that she wanted to do this for me. It was such a kind and unselfish act. Though we have lost touch, she is still a beautiful person in my eyes. A beauty that has lasted through time.
Once I was vacationing at a resort in Idaho, I noticed a young attractive couple having fun, laughing and cuddling in the hot tub. I remember thinking how in love they seemed. I moved my lounge chair to a different angle to catch the sun rays better. It was then I noticed that the other half of the man's face was disfigured. with a dark purple birthmark. It had some skin hanging down in an unnatural way. His girlfriend was oblivious to it, kissing and hugging him like she wasn't even aware of his birthmark. It inspired me to look beyond the outer shell of a person and move into their soul. .
One night I met a man in a dance club. He was very handsome but I noticed he had some scars on one side of his face. I asked him what had happened and he told me he had been hit by a car when he was fifteen. He didn't know that I was very depressed that night. I was in deep despair and feeling suicidal. I had been through a difficult divorce and had fallen in love with a man who was married but had told me he was unhappy and was leaving her. As time went on I realized he was playing us both along as well as a couple of other women. It completely broke my heart being betrayed by two men, him and my ex-husband and I was wary of ever trusting a man again. I didn't trust this man, yet something about his scars made me feel close to him. We were both scarred in a certain way. It inspired a poem.
Crippled
We're both crippled you and I
We both suffered the tragedy of terrible accidents
We see on your face what cruel fate dealt you
Such a handsome face to be marred by a sudden wrong move
My face is beautiful
I show no scars
But the wounds around my heart
No one would want to look upon
Over time we fell in love and I eventually married this man. He had a kindness, sensitivity, and sense of humor that erased any scars in my eyes. Sometimes beauty has to be stripped of it's disguises to find the real thing, like a diamond in the rough. Beauty is also often like a rosebud and it has to open up so we can look deep inside to see its true beauty.
