Why is it important to respect and protect the traditional
family? The reason is it is a sacred relationship created by God for the health
and well being of the human family. “Male and Female created He them.” This world
has been created with male and female in all of the various life forms. For life to procreate it takes a male and a
female cell to create new life. This is a sacred and essential part of all
creation in order to produce new life. Those that want to change the facts of
life can’t really argue with nature.That is how life is created.
There is a reason for this, that all life has a father and a
mother. Some forms of life participate more than other’s after the baby is
created but in the human life form it takes a long time before a human becomes
an adult. Through those developing years a healthy father and mother can have a
great and positive effect on the children that they rear. They can help them
develop a healthy self concept and be healthy mentally, physically, emotionally
and spiritually. This is a great responsibility that comes with parenting. Good
parents that create successful and healthy adults, take this role seriously to
do the very best job they can in rearing their children.
There are people trying to rear children in a
non-traditional way in the world today and this is causing a lot of problems
for some children.They become confused about gender, the facts of life, and how
the natural order of nature occurs. If people want to take on this most
important responsibility in life of parenting, the optimum and essential thing
that should be considered is that they are committed to their children and to
living a healthy lifestyle for those children. There are far too many today
becoming parents that do
not have the children’s best interest at heart.
Society today has become “all about me”. When you are a good
parent, it really changes from “all about me to “all about them.” A person
needs to be willing to be unselfish and make a child’s needs more important
than their own. It is the epitome of selfishness in my mind when a parent
decides they want to leave their role as a father or mother for a homosexual
lifestyle. “IT IS A CHOICE”, no rationalizing about it! If they created
children, then they were able to have sex with a each other. So many cop out
today and say that they are not attracted to a woman or a man anymore That is a weak and selfish excuse. The world should not
revolve around sex! Children are much more important than a person's sexual
gratification. A person gave up that choice once they decided to become a
parent. Parenthood should rule over sexual preferences!
There is an attitude that we need to feel sorry for LGBT people
and that they deserve special treatment. We all deserve special treatment.
Everyone is important whatever their lifestyle. It is important to think about the
effect choices and lifestyles have on other’s lives. Do they consider their
families in their choices? Does anyone
consider how much they hurt their wife or husband and more importantly their
children by that CHOICE?! I knew a very
sweet and amazing poet that had this happen to her family. His selfish choice for
a lifestyle of homosexuality broke his wife’s heart and made all the children
feel like his new lifestyle was more important than they were. Unfortunately I
have heard this story and excuse too often. There is absolutely no excuse or
rationalization that can justify this kind of selfishness. Because a person wanted
to have unnatural sex just doesn’t cut it. This man went off to live his new
lifestyle in San Francisco and became alienated from his family and a few years
later died of aids. I have asked myself time and time again how he could have
justified this choice. It is just not justifiable! Selfishness is one of the
biggest problems in our society today. One of the big causes of this
selfishness is too many people’s indulgence in pornography. Studies have shown that many people that are
now LGBT were either sexually abused or exposed to unnatural sex acts through
pornography at a young age. That is why
we need to stop all the pornography that is all over the internet in it’s
tracks! It is destroying a healthy society and healthy families.
It is also a choice to leave a family for the selfish
reason of having an affair with someone. That's every bit as much of a
crime as a gay person leaving their family. Selfishness has gotten the
traditional family in a lot of trouble today. Divorce is as easy as going to
the bank and too many people today don't seem to take their marital commitments
seriously. Marriage today seems to be more about the show than the commitment.
God asked us to love and be committed to our marriage partners and we promise
to do that in our marriage vows before God. Today marriage promises aren't kept
enough. People seem to think their vows are optional. That is one of the
seriously sick things that is happening to our society. A person's word doesn't
seem to mean anything.
There are three major things that often cause the
breakdown of a marriage. They are known as the three "A's".
Abuse, Alcohol, and Adultery (Infidelity). The one responsible for the
breakup of a relationship is the first one to break their vows. When one breaks
their vows that can reek havoc on the relationship and more vows tend to be
broken. Too often these issues cause the break down of a family. If people want
to preserve their families and really care about their children, they need to
be aware and avoid these three major pitfalls. They are extremely harmful to
relationships and often destroy them. Too many today though aren't even willing
to work on their relationships. Relationships and commitment have become
dispensable and marriages breakup over matters that could have been prevented
because people don't know what the word commitment means today.
Another problem that causes breakups in a marriage is
money. Good fiscal sense and honesty when dealing with money is essential.
Credit cards are debt, not free money. Too many relationships have ended over a
spouse not letting the other spouse know the credit card debt they have
incurred. There are many marriages that breakup over money problems. It is
important to make money management a priority in marriage and have open,
honest, and regular discussions about where money is going and how to spend it.
It’s amazing how society has begun to rationalize all sorts
of unnatural and selfish behavior. Then they say that God’s direction to us in
the bible is outdated. Really it’s about them just wanting to indulge in their
selfish lifestyle for sexual or personal gratification. I say too many in
society today have their priorities all wrong. Today some can rationalize
killing innocent people with their terrorists attitudes that the “Quran” tells
them to kill anyone that is not a Muslim.
People today rationalize prostitution, immorality, infidelity, unnatural
relationships and sex acts that God has clearly directed will only cause
heartache for those around them and themselves. They drink and they drug
sometimes around their children and even give drugs to them sometimes because
the parents are so messed up. Most of the people I know that engage in these
sorts of activities are pretty unhealthy and confused about a lot of things in
life. They have unhealthy relationships and struggle in many aspects of their
life from their job to their personal life. They are lonely, self-absorbed, and
too often become suicidal because of all their poor choices. When are they
going to put two and two together and realize that their lifestyle choices have
caused their own unhappiness? Giving up morality and good decision making have
taken too many people out today and the sad and innocent victims of these
unhealthy lifestyles are the children.
People today use the rationale that we are being unkind to them by not accepting their lifestyle. What about how unkind they are to everyone else? It’s not all about them! Too many today want other’s to agree that their lifestyle of sin in all sorts of ways is okay. If we smoke, we may get cancer. If we are immoral in relationships, it will destroy them. If we harm others, abuse, or steal from other’s there are natural consequences. We simply cannot allow other’s to make us feel like sin can be rationalized and that it is okay and that is exactly what society today in many areas is trying to do.
God loves us all and Christ loves us all but they have both given us directions for our lives and if we chose to ignore those directions, we cause suffering to ourselves and others. God and Christ love the sinner but not the sin. God has given us these directions for a reason because God knows if we don’t follow the directions of God, our lifestyle is actually going against ourselves and our own best interest. How many truly happy gay people do you know? All the ones I have known were pretty unhappy and unhealthy. Their choices had created their unhappiness!
It’s important to remember that we need to have tolerance
and love for all of God’s children. We can love and accept those that choose an
alternative lifestyle but that does not mean that we agree with that lifestyle
or condone it. We accept other’s freedom to choose their lifestyle because we
have free agency in this life. We are all responsible for our choices however
and will receive the positive or negative consequences of those decisions.
Through experience, counseling,and being married for over thrity years, I have learned a lot about relationships and how to make them stronger. I have created a list of things that my husband and I have learned through our marriage and through counseling, and discussions with each other that can help make marriages and relationships stronger. We all need to focus on strengthening our marriages so we can be happy and create a healthy environment for children to grow up in.
The Marriage Survival Kit
These
things have helped our relationship survive and thrive. Maybe it will help you
too1. Focus on the positive traits in each other. (Write them down and think about them.)
Look for and notice them every day.
2. Tell each other every day that you love each other and compliment and praise one another often. Never take each other for granted or the energy each contributes to the relationship
3. Be affectionate not just in bed but out of bed too. Human touch is very comforting and healing. Don’t forget to hug, kiss, and cuddle often.
4. Talk everyday about everything. Don’t store or hide emotions. Get them out and deal with them before they become too big to handle or solve.
5. Be a good, open, and easy to talk to listener. Try to understand the other person’s feelings and point of view and care about how they feel.
6. Show each other respect even in the most heated argument. People turn off when other’s start to yell or call names. Learn self control and never verbally, physically or emotionally abuse one another. “A soft word turneth away wrath” Learn how to manage anger in a healthy way.
7. Take a time out period if either is extremely upset. Have a signal you give each other when things feel out of control. Give each other some time to cool down, calm down, and get centered. It’s better to take some time out than say or do something that will hurt the other and we may regret. When we lose our centered place, we lose our effectiveness in communication
8. Give each other some personal time and space. Everyone needs that. Talk over what each other’s needs are, then set up regular times for this. Respect each other’s time, space, and privacy. As the prophet Kahil Gibran said, “Let their be spaces in your togetherness” Time apart can also help to appreciate each other. Remember though, absence makes the heart grow fonder but too much absence can make the heart go wander. Keep a balance!
9. Forgive, forget and move forward. Don’t keep files of past slights or hold grudges and don’t be too proud to admit and say you’re sorry if you have done something wrong
10. Use the 24 hour “courtesy clause” if changes need to be made as far as time and commitments or plans with each other. Try to give each other at least 24 hour notice if a change needs to be made. If this can not be accomplished, learn to be flexible and accommodating with time. Don't make someone wait for more than a half hour. Call them and let them know if you need to change plans.
11. Cultivate togetherness time. Find things you enjoy doing together and do them regularly ie. Walks, bike rides, working out, hiking, water sports, nature hikes, skiing, writing, crafts, painting, road trips and traveling. Join a club or take a class together to learn something new or read the same book and discuss it together. This is a good way to keep growing and changing together.
12. Be open-minded and not reactive to what the other person says. Don't become defensive. Really listen to how they feel. Listening is an important skill!
13. Don’t live under preconceived ideas of how a relationship should be. Discuss with each other what you each think a good relationship should be
14. Save some exclusive time only for each other every day. Go on a date together once a week and take turns planning it. Try surprising each other with something special frequently like flowers, love notes, special dinners, massages, etc.
15. Make each other the Number “1" priority. If you don’t there will be problems
16. Don’t make “material things” more important than people or feelings
17. Set common goals together that are attainable and then work towards them.
18 Trust is very important. Never betray trust. Always be truthful with your mate in all matters.
19. Take responsibility and care for yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and
spiritually. Always try to look your best and be your best self. Take the time to stay healthy in body, mind, and spirit so you can offer a healthy person to your mate.
20. Don’t act selfish, spoiled, bullying or manipulative. Do not use sex to manipulate
21. Make sexual expression more than just a physical act. When you combine love and
spirituality with the sexual union, it can be the highest form of love, communication,
and intimacy. Make love often. It is very healthy and balances out the energies of both people if both are healthy when they come together
22. It is important to have equality in all things. In tasks,, in chores, in money. Share household responsibilities. Divide them up evenly. Take turns cooking and cleaning up.
23. Don’t ever assume anything. Make sure everything is clear and understood.Learn to be easy going and keep the priorities straight about what is really important in the relationship
24. Never embarrass, put down, or degrade the other person especially in public or
around friends. Always show how much you love, care, and respect the other in
public situations. Don’t let sex, partying, or friends tip the relationship out of balance
25. Make sure there is good communication about money and each is doing their part
or there is a balance about money ie. (If the woman sacrifices her career to birth and raise children , then whatever the husband earns is negotiated and shared in an equitable to both parties manner. Set a time to pay bills each month and be sure each person is aware of where the money goes and how much there is. Always keep an emergency fund in case something comes up that extra money is needed. Don't spend on any major purchase without discussing it first.
26. Don’t let little annoying things become big things. If something really bugs someone, be considerate and pay attention to the problem and do what you can to take care of the other's reasonable needs.
27. Avoid being critical but be able to take constructive criticism without becoming reactive or defensive at times. Be careful not to nag or go on and on about something. Know when to be done
28. Don’t have expectations about what you think a relationship should be like. If you do, you will be disappointed. If you have something that is very important you want or need from the other person, learn to communicate that clearly. Don’t expect your mate to read your mind. Learn to respond quickly and do something about it if your mate has requested something of you. Find out what your mate’s needs are and don’t ignore them. Try to fulfill those needs whenever possible.
29. If there are problems that seem to big to solve, the right counselor can be an invaluable tool to help get perspective and understand another’s behavior. A neutral third party can give a more objective diagnosis of what is needed. It can be a priest, minister, bishop, or trusted friend but the right counseling has helped or saved many marriages. Trained professionals know alot about relationships and how to help them become stronger.
30. Have a spiritual program you share with each other. Keep God in your lives and prayer a part of your relationship. Pray everyday.
* Summing it all up, the main thing to remember is the Golden rule “Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Always be each other’s best friend and don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do to your best friend*
