Prisoner

    -People create their own prisons. Many seem to be blind to the fact that their jail cell is of their own making and don't know how to dissolve the bars. That's how it was with Tara.   She couldn't see the dungeon she had created for herself-
     Tara's picture on facebook was a profile in black and white of  her eye with a tear falling from it. The picture spoke a thousand words. On her blog she put some pictures of couples that were in love.  She seemed to like the idea of being in love but not for herself. She excluded herself from being a happy couple.
     She said she liked being alone so she didn't have to cook for anyone, clean for anyone, or live up to anyone else's expectations. She could simply do whatever she wanted to do.  There was a freedom in that but it was a lonely freedom.
      Her narcissistic tendencies were her worst enemy. She become so absorbed in her own loneliness she began to like it.  She was a perfectionist and had dated men but no one fit the "Perfect" bill. Anyone who was imperfect didn't cut it for long.
      There were traits she liked about different men but she always found a flaw that she couldn't abide and she would have to be done with them or they would be done with her because she was so critical of them. She was a cameleon and would always mirror the traits she liked in that particular man. She liked one man's sensitivity and poetic style but he was bald and too religious and she had to be done with him because she was an atheist.  She liked the rustic mountain man with all of his tall tales and  adventures but didn't like that he was a pathological liar, fat, and snored. Sometimes men took advantage of her  sympathetic nature. One man who had had brain damage in an accident, she took in for a while until he robbed her bank account when she wasn't looking.  Another one took her on escapes to places around the world but he was a true escape artist and didn't know how to commit.  There was the musician who composed sexy love songs but the sexy songs were to any woman he found attractive. He was a philanderer and couldn't be loyal.  Another one was a complete narcissist and she really liked him because he was as wrapped up in himself as she was in herself. He was into making his body a perfect specimen for the world to see. He worked out, and took supplements and drugs to try to manipulate himself into "Superman".  Each of the men had some perfect traits that she loved  but none were perfect in every way so love eventually turned into rejection.
       So she was lonely and lived her life talking to atheists and liberal strangers on Facebook and making them her new best friends on Facebook only. She was a true prisoner of her own making.