Disappeared
Rain stood on the lawn near the edge
of the cliff. She watched the Para-glider
soar off the grass of the Ritz Carlton.
What would it feel like to fly like that, unbound by the earth? She had a fear of heights but was intrigued
with the thought of sailing like a wind-blown leaf lifted by the breeze. She had been drifting around the country for
a while now and kind of felt like a wind-blown leaf. Now she
had landed in Laguna.
She had changed her name from Rain Song. Not too many people had a name like
that. She wondered how her mother could
ever have come up with that name. Her
mom was a kind of a hippy so that was probably the explanation. She really kind of liked her name but knew it
was too unusual to use for a while. Her
new name was Ashton, “Ashton Anderson the Blues Singer”. She picked that name because she had spent
part of her childhood in Ashton, Idaho while her dad did dry-farming.
One thing Rain could do really well was sing. Her first job was at a bar in Green River
Wyoming. She knew how to sing the blues
being well acquainted with the blues through different times in her life, the
present being one of them.
“Well,
I never felt more like singing the blues, cus I never thought that I’d ever
lose your love dear. Oh why’d you do me
this way,” she wailed.
The people in the bar usually liked her singing
and between what the bar owner gave her and her tips, she was able to make a
meager existence for a while living at a cheap hotel. She didn’t let people get to know her very
well. She didn’t want any attachments
right now. All she wanted was freedom
and safety.
Her
next job was in Rapid City, South Dakota.
That’s where she started writing songs.
The place she started singing, was called the “Blue Moon Café”. She liked singing in the Café better than a
bar because she didn’t have to put up with obnoxious drunks trying to hit on
her. The first song she wrote was called,
“It’s a Rainy Rainy Day”. She tried it out on the guests.
“Oh
it’s a rainy, rainy day at the Blue Moon Café,
Things
are lookin’ gray, since you went away
The
juke box is singin a sad old song, and my hearts singin right along
The
waitress keeps trying to make me smile, but I just want to sit here and cry for
a while
Cus
it’s a rainy rainy day at the Blue Moon Café, things are lookin gray. . . . . .
. .
Rain
realized she was pretty good at writing songs about the blues and people seemed
to like the songs she wrote too. She put
a few of them to music and found a recording studio in one of the small towns
and created her own CD. It made her feel
good to know she had created her own music.
The Midwest was kind of therapeutic for a
while. The people were down to earth and
friendly. She liked their solid, salt of the earth attitude. They were generous and had values, morals, and
good Christian hearts. It was
refreshing. She usually never stayed in any one place for
more than a couple of months. She
wasn’t planning to put down any roots for a while. She kind of liked traveling around the
country and getting the flavor of different towns and different states. Sometimes she wondered about her family and
worried because she knew they were worrying about her, but she just couldn’t
risk surfacing right now. She knew her husband
would find her and who knew if she would survive if he did. Her husband had truly been a Jekyl and Hyde
personality, silent and broody much of the time but then it was like living
with a time bomb. If she ever tried to
engage him in conversation, she never knew what would set him off. Suddenly he would blow up for no reason it
seemed to Rain. He would break anything
around him when that happened and if she was near him, he might lash out at
her. When he had her pinned on the bed
with his fist looming above her and let it go right into the headboard making a
hole in it, she knew the time had come to make an escape. She wondered how many other missing women
were driven to run away and change identities to escape abuse. That night she snuck out the window and
jumped off the roof. She ran past the
tracks of the small Idaho town and on to the highway and started running and
hitch-hiking to anywhere anyone would take her.
*****
She
wandered down the path to the beach from the Ritz Carlton. She had had an interview to be the singer at
the lounge. She gave them her CD but she
didn’t know if they were looking for her style of music. The Ritz Carlton was an elegant and classy
place. She had never worked in anything
this upscale before. She thought it
might be an interesting adventure to meet a different kind of people. They had wanted her social security number
to apply for the job and that complicated things. Since she had been moving around, she’d
always asked to be paid with cash and people didn’t seem to mind that but the
Ritz Carlton was a very legitimate place and things had to be done according to
the rules and regulations.
When
they called her a few days later and offered her the job she decided to take
it. She’d been
moving around for about a year now and wondered if it would be safe to start
using her real name but decided to risk it.
She had sent her family some letters without return addresses
occasionally from different parts of the country but had never left a return
address. The letters were brief telling
them she loved and missed them and that she was okay but needed some time alone
right now to find herself and what she really needed out of life. She told them that if her husband inquired
about her, they didn’t know where she was.
It was true, they didn’t. She asked them to please not have anyone come
searching for her. She would get in
contact with them when she was ready.
Rain liked it here in Laguna because it was by the
ocean. She had always wished to live
near the ocean. Growing up, her father
took her and the family down to California every few years to see some
relatives. The first time she saw the ocean
she was captivated. She loved the
smells, the feel of the sand, the sea shells, the seagulls, the salty damp
spray and the sea breezes carrying messages through the wind of other places,
other people, and other times. Maybe it
was her name but Rain loved to be around any kind of water. She loved lakes, streams, rivers, ponds, and
of course the rain. There was something
mighty and fierce yet tranquil and calming about water.
There was something about Laguna that held her
in its spell. The
cliffs and the water had almost a mystical feeling when she was at the water’s
edge. Maybe she would settle down here
for a while. This was the first place she had felt like might be home. She
could never get enough of beach combing or just watching the waves roll in and
out. She liked to bring her notebook
down to the beach and write songs or poetry.
The beach and water felt very healing to her. One day she wrote,
Oh
Sea, take me away with you to another place, another time
Reach
out with your great arms and hold me
As
your tide draws back into itself take my bruised heart with you
Take
away the loneliness, the heartache, the grief, I have heaped up inside my self
You
have been my friend, my companion, and my great healer so often
Once
again I come to you
Caress
me with your motion,
Soothe
me with your pounding surf
Wash
me clean again.
Sometimes when Rain was sitting and
watching the waves, she would see a young man walking on the rocks out at the
edge of the shore. He had lots of black,
curly hair and wore a green Khaki jacket and denim pants that had a few holes
in them. He was usually bare foot. He would look out at the ocean and stare at
it for long periods. Sometimes he would
sit on the rocks close to the edge of the water and the waves would crash up
around him. Rain felt a kindred connection to him. He seemed to be a loner like her but was
drawn to the sea like she was.
One
day Rain was walking along the edge of the water staring down at the little
gifts the waves left behind. She looked
up just as someone was passing. It was the young man on the rocks. Their eyes met and a strange but strong
feeling came over her. His eyes were a
deep aquamarine and drew her in like a magnet.
She had never seen eyes like that before. He nodded and gave her a faint smile as he
passed.
After
that, Rain noticed whenever she was at the water he was often there too. She felt
strangely drawn to him and didn’t really understand why. One day she decided to venture out on the
rocks where he often was to explore things from his vantage point. There were little tide pools with sea life
living in them. There were different
colors of anemones and sea cucumbers in their own little biome. She
sat down to study them more closely.
Suddenly a shadow covered her and she looked up to see the young man
standing behind her.
“Do
you see anything interesting today?” he asked.
“These
tide pools are really full of life aren’t they.”
“Yes,
it’s interesting how everything interacts with everything else.”
“So
many varied colors and shapes too,” said Rain. “I like the sounds of the
water here too. They can be calm yet
fierce at the same time.”
The
young man was quiet and looked out across the water as he often did.
“Have a nice day,” he said as he began working
his way out further to the edge of the rocks.
As
Rain got to know the Laguna beaches, she became familiar with some sea caves
along the shore. People could wander
into them but had to be careful of the tides and only go at certain times so they
didn’t get trapped. She found a kind of
fern and reed grotto and noticed it looked like someone had a make shift hut
that was kind of hidden. There were a
lot of homeless people that made their living somehow on the beaches of
California. The beach patrol tried to control it but they had their secret ways
of surviving. She wondered if that young
man she saw alone all the time was one of them.
The
patrons that came to the lounge at the Ritz Carlton were a different kind of
people. They were more impersonal. They were well dressed and sophisticated. They
met other men and other women to discuss business and pleasure. They rarely
acknowledged Rain. She was just kind of
the background music. It made her feel
even more isolated and alone because they were so indifferent to her. She had rented a small one bedroom studio
in the center part of Laguna. What she
made at the Ritz barely covered her rent and overhead but somehow she squeaked
by. Living by the ocean made it all worth
it.
One
day she was walking around the sea caves and ran into the strange young man
again walking the other way. He gave her
a nod and a faint smile and she smiled back.
“Good
morning,” he said.
“Good
morning, she smiled.
“Great
Day isn’t it!”
“Yes,
it’s a beautiful today,” she agreed.
He
turned and started walking with her.
“Mind
if I join you on your walk?”
“No,
please do, I could use some company.”
“Would
you like to see one of my favorite spots for sea watching?”
“Sure,”
she said. She instinctively knew he was
a safe and gentle soul. She had watched
him enough to know this about him.
She
followed him up to a gentle sloping cliff. There was a slight path through strategic
places to reach the top. When they
reached the top, the view was breath taking.
The sea could be viewed for a hundred and eighty degrees. Sea gulls were
catching wind currents, diving and soaring and calling to each other.
They
sat quietly at the top of the cliff watching the birds.
Conversation
didn’t seem needed between them as they enjoyed the beauty of the place.
Finally
he looked at her his eyes drawing her in.
“Where
do you come from?” he smiled. I know you’re not a local because I pretty
much know all the locals.”
Rain’s
eyes looked sad and faraway. She didn’t
answer.
“Sorry,
I didn’t mean to pry. It doesn’t really
matter. You’re here now and that’s all
that matters.”
She
smiled, “Yes, this place seems more like a home, than most places I’ve been.”
“The
ocean seems like home to me too,” he said.
I’m never quite as content and happy as I am here. There’s a certain kind of companionship I
feel here with the sea life, the waves and the birds. They sat again in silence listening to the
sea sounds and the gulls around them.
“You know what?
I’ve seen you a lot but I don’t even know your name. I’m Sky and you’re?”
She laughed, “You’re not going to believe this, I’m
Rain,”
He smiled, actually that works. “Not fire and rain, but Sky and Rain. It
makes a good combination. We create
clouds”. They both laughed.
“I
like clouds a lot too. I can always see
different things in them. I notice
angels a lot in clouds.”
Sky
smiled again, “I know another secret place that not too many people know
about. Would you like to see it?”
“Okay,
if it is as good as this place, I’ve got to see it.”
They climbed back down and walked the beach for a
while. They spotted some sea lions
playing on some rocks and then a group of dolphins spinning through the air and
playing in the ocean. Little Sand Pipers
were playing tag with the waves.
“The Sand Pipers are some of my favorite. They know just when to walk to the edge of
the water and when to hurry back as the wave comes in. They are so amusing”.
“They are funny little birds,” Sky agreed.
Then
a steep cliff towered over the sand.
“This
is it.” Sky pointed to the top.
“Wow,
that’s pretty high,” Rain said nervously.
It was a more difficult climb up. Sky reached down to help Rain climb a steeper
part of the incline. She felt a warmth
and tenderness, yet strength as he grabbed her hand.
When
they reached the top of the cliff, Sky stood at the edge and opened his arms. “Isn’t
it magnificent!” Rain stood back from
the edge. Her legs felt like jelly. “Please come back a little, you’re making me
nervous.” He stepped back.
“I’m feeling a little queasy. It’s
beautiful but I don’t like to be right at the edge of cliffs. I’m not sure if it is a fear of heights or a
fear of falling. Actually I have had rapture of the heights before and felt
like jumping. Have you ever felt that?”
“No,
I’ve never felt that but I could see why you would feel uneasy around the
edge.”
He
smiled and took her hand. “Are you okay?
“ She nodded. “Come with me, there’s
still more to see.” They climbed down
on the other side of the cliff and there was a quiet enclosed beach between
sharp cliffs. The cliffs almost made a
circle around the beach and there was a narrow slit between the rocks out to
the ocean. In the middle of the sand
was a deep blue pool.
“We’re
here just at the right time. When the
tide comes up, we can’t be in here because it is dangerous.” He walked to the pool, dropped his clothes,
and dove in.
Rain
was a little shocked when he did that.
“Come
on in!” he shouted. “It’s a natural hot
spring and the perfect temperature.”
His
freedom and exuberance and the natural elements of the place made her want to
join him but she was a bit shy.
“Come
on”, he said. “I’ll turn my back if you
want.”
Rain
giggled shyly but decided to join him.
Everything felt so natural and right in this hidden place.
“Okay,
turn your back.” He turned his back and
she took off her light shift and slid
into the water. It was the perfect
temperature, not too hot and not too cold.
She
was amazed that she would be so free but it felt so natural and beautiful. It just felt like the right thing to do. They both swam and dove under the water
playing and enjoying the water. Then
she realized that they didn’t even have towels and wondered how they would dry off..
Sky
walked out on the beach and lay down on the sand on his stomach. Rain decided to follow him. They both laid there together and felt the
sand and sun warming their backs and drying them.
After
a while Sky said, “It’s so perfect here I hate to leave but the tide is coming
in so we better get going, it’s dangerous if we don’t. You can dress first. I’ll keep my eyes closed.” He smiled and
closed his eyes.
Rain
laughed and started dressing then walked towards the ocean. Sky joined her a few minutes later. “We can’t risk staying here any longer. Come on.”
The waves were already licking the rocks around where they stood.
“This place is amazing.
We have definitely got to come back here again,” Rain said.
“We will,” Sky agreed.
She didn’t see Sky at the beach for a few days after that
and she wondered where he had disappeared.
She watched the waves curl and crash and wondered what it would be like
to be a sea creature and live in the water all the time. She imagined and longed for it
sometimes. She often felt that she must
have come from the sea. She felt like
she was an amphibian and had to spend at least some of her time by the water
each day. Rain was a Pisces and thought
her astrological sign fit her well. She
wrote a poem called Pisces that day.
Pisces
I am drowning of air
Suffocating from the sun’s fire
Cast on
the beach
Wounded
Weak
Gasping for water
Aching
for death
Yet clinging to life
Throw me back to that
cool deep abyss
Where
my heart can breathe
And
my soul can
exist
Just as she finished writing she saw Sky walking
towards her. The sun was in her eyes so
she brought her hand up to cover them.
“Hi, where have you been? I haven’t seen you for a few days.”
“Oh, sometimes I go out on a fishing charter and help
with the fishing.”
‘Oh,” Rain answered.
That kind of explained how he might be making a living. Rain had
wondered about that.
“What are you writing?”
He sat down next to her. They
really didn’t know much about each other except that they were both beach
hounds.
“I just wrote a poem.
I like to write down by the water.”
“Would you mind sharing it?”
“Okay,” Rain felt comfortable sharing her poetry with him. He felt like a soul friend.
After she read it to him he said, “I relate to that
poem. I’m a sea dweller at heart”
She
didn’t see him again for a few more days and then he mysteriously appeared
again.
“There you are,” Rain said. “I miss you around here when I don’t see you.”
“I miss it too. Do
you feel like going to the secret hot spring again?”
“Yes!” I’ve been
thinking about it and how wonderful it was a lot.”
“Can you go right now?”
Sky asked
“Yes, I don’t have to work until tonight,”
“Let’s go then.”
“Sounds good.”
When they reached the pool inside the cliffs he said, “Come
here. There’s something else I want to
show you. We didn’t have time the other
day.”
They wandered back towards the back of the cliff. There was a crack between the rocks.
“This is an amazing sea cave. You won’t believe it.”
“What about light?
Don’t we need flash lights?”
“No, you’ll see,”
When they entered the cave it was already kind of lit up.
“Where is the
light coming from?”Rain asked.
“Luminescent
rocks, they glow in the dark.”
“That’s
incredible.” Rain said in
amazement. As they wandered further
into the cave it became more and more fascinating. Large crystals were growing in different
parts of the cave. The luminescent rocks
glowed in different colors. There was a
powerful mystical feel to the cave.
There were some dripping sounds and it became darker as they went
further into the cave. Sky took her hand
to help her along. Rain wondered how far they had come.
“We
should probably go back now. I’m not
sure what the tide is doing. It’s easy to lose track of time in here. It really draws you in.”
They
started heading back and it seemed like a long time before Rain saw a crack of
light ahead. She could hear the ocean
waves crashing around the entrance of the cave.
“We’ve
got to hurry.” Sky was almost dragging
her now through the cave trying to get to the entrance.
When
they reached the mouth of the cave water was crashing all around it. The tide was rapidly coming in.
“We’re
going to have to swim and swim hard so we don’t get dragged out by the
undertow,”
Rain
looked at Sky with frightened eyes as they dove into the water. They were swimming hard but could not fight
the incoming waves or the undertow. It
was taking them steadily out to sea.
Rain was becoming exhausted. Sky
tried to swim and carry her like a life guard would but the waves were too
powerful. After fighting the waves for
several hours Sky looked at Rain. They
couldn’t fight any longer and they both knew it.
“Are
you ready to join the sea?” He looked
deeply into Rain’s eyes.
Rain
looked in to his eyes and nodded.
“When
you go under take a big breath and you will become a sea creature,” he smiled.
He
grabbed her hand. They both closed their
eyes and dove beneath the surface.
Copyright October 2013/ All rights reserved.
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