The Woman in the Black Hat

The Woman In the Black Hat

She stood away from the rest of the funeral party at the cemetery, the wide brimmed black hat a stark statement against the bright green of the lawn. The saucer on the brim of the hat hid her face in it’s shadows. She wore a red and black chiffon dress with a black silk sash that moved gently when the wind blew as if waving goodbye.

No one seemed to know her and no one spoke to her. She looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties. She had a handkerchief in her hand that she occasionally dabbed her eyes with. Just before the graveside service ended, she left suddenly so no one was able to speak to her or introduce themselves. Yet, she had left a an indelible mark in everyone's memory standing there alone.

It wasn’t until two weeks later when Dave and his sister Katy were going through their father’s things and cleaning out his apartment that the question of her identity came up again when they found a stack of letters in their father’s bureau drawer.

“I wonder who these letters are from?” Katy said leafing through them with her thumb. “You don’t think daddy was carrying on a romance with someone in his seventies do you? Do you think we should read them or just burn them?” Katy asked.

They looked at each other and their eyes had a mixture of curiosity and sadness.

“What the Hell,” said Dave. “Why don’t you read one and see what it says.”

Kathy walked over to her dad’s favorite rocker, turned on the lamp, sat down, and took the top letter off the pile. Opening it she read:

September 11, l993

My Dearest  Bob,

It is very difficult for me to express what you have come to mean to me these past three years. I never thought I would recover from the heartaches I have had to endure.

Your friendship will stand strongly in my mind as long as I live. I never thought I would be able to say these words again but I can honestly say that I love you.

Thank you for your endearing and enduring presence.

Always,

Alexandra 

Neither Katy or Dave spoke for a moment after she finished. Finally Katy broke the silence.

“This was written just two months before daddy died. Have you ever heard him mention an Alexandra?” Dave shook his head.

“What did I tell you, always a way with the ladies.”

“You’re right, dad always seemed to carry on lives that no one knew anything about. Who do you think Alexandra was?”

Dave paused thinking.

“Do you think it possibly could have been that woman in the black hat at the cemetary that no one seemed to know?”

“Maybe so,” Katy nodded.

“So are we going to finish reading them or should we get rid of them and keep dad’s mysterious life a mystery?”

Dave was sitting on the not so white and weathered nagahyde couch that his father had pulled out every night to sleep on. His father had led a simple life. He’d lived in a small studio right downtown so he could walk anywhere he needed to go. The apartment was furnished very simply. There was a vase with a couple of fake red and white Fushias resting on the dresser. A chess set sat under the window and there was a small television in the corner. He didn’t have a phone and used a pay phone that was downstairs in the apartment building when he wanted to call someone. He didn’t own a car either. He walked or occasionally caught a cab or bus if he needed to go very far. He had remained single ever since he and their mother hd divorced more than thirty years before. Dave and Katy agreed that apparently their father had had some romances they knew nothing about.

Katy sat in the rocking chair rocking a little and staring at the bundle of letters. 

“I don’t know, I’d like to know more about Alexandra and for that matter, more about our dad. What about you?”

“Yeah, I would too. I think he was a bit of a mystery to both of us.”

“Okay, we’ll take turns reading them to each other. That way we’ll be partners in crime and dad will have to be mad at both of us if he decides to get mad on the other side.” They both chuckled a little uncomfortably.

Dave opened the next letter.

“The date says it is June 21, l989. These don’t seem to be in chronological order.”

“Oh well, we’ll read them as they come. Hopefully we’ll try to make some sense out of them. “

Dave read the next letter.

June 21, l989

Dear Bob,

How nice of you to come over and introduce yourself. It was so helpful of you to give me a hand with all those big boxes. It is true “Two heads are better than one,” and “Four arms are better than two!” I just wanted to thank you again for being such a friendly and helpful neighbor.

Always,

Alexandra

“This must have been when they first met.” Dave looked at Katy and she nodded.

“I bet she was that woman he told us moved in the apartment directly across the building from him. She had bought two aparments as a condo and completey remodeled them. She obviously had some money. Dad’s apartment could look right into the window of her kitchen. I remember he told me about her moving in and redoing the apartments. Well, let’s read on.”

Dave handed Katy the next letter:

July 23, 1989

Dear Bob,

Could you please stop over this evening and help me with some curtain rods? The doctor said I’m not suppose to strain or climb up on anything. I would really appreciate it. I would like to invite you to dinner for your trouble. Thank you so much for your help

Alexandra

“That was short and sweet. I wonder why she can’t strain herself?”

“Well, let’s read on, maybe we’ll find out,”said Katy.

It was late when Dave and Katy started to read the letters but they continued reading them on into the night. They become so interested in finding out about Alexandra and part of their father’s life they had not known about before, they couldn’t put the letters down. Katy was trying to figure why she wrote letters to him if she lived right across the building.

“I guess maybe she wrote him letters because he didn’t have a phone.”

“Yah, that could explain them.”

Katy read the next letter.

August 29, 1990

Dear Bob,

Well you finally got to meet “The father of my baby”. I’m sure he didn’t make much of an impression rushing off like he did. He would have died if I’d introduced him as such. Jack has some nice qualities but does some other things that are so exasperating I can barely stand to be in his presence. I feel really lonely tonight. Would you like to stop over for coffee and a little company. Maybe we can play some chess. I am so glad to have you as a friend.

Always,

Alexandra

“Well, that explains it. She was pregnant!”

“Yep!”

Katy quickly opened the next letter

September 12, l989

Dear Bob,

Could you by chance stop over tonight. Jack has disappointed me again and I’m having a very difficult time coping. He promised to stop by and see the apartment and how I was getting along and then he called and said something had come up and he couldn’t come. I had made a nice dinner and had everything ready. He said his wife had demanded he accompany her to the premier of a film in Part City for the film festival opening. Of course, he professed his undying love and devotion to me, as always, his favorite line when he is in trouble and making excuses.

I’ve been feeling a lot of cramping and I’m afraid I might lose the baby only being five months along. I want this baby so much. It is so heart breaking to feel so alone in this wish. Jack told me he planned to support the baby and me financially in anything we might need. He also told me, that the only communication we could have would be when he initiated it.

When he found out I was pregnant and we parted, he gave me a generous sum and told me to do whatever I wanted to with it. “Hush money” I suppose. He told me to remodel a place in Salt Lake and that could be our “secret retreat and getaway” place. Since moving to Salt Lake, I’m lucky if Jack squeezes me in a couple of times a month. I’m sorry to bother you and burden you with this Bob, but I just have to talk to someone about it. Sometimes I feel like I’m going mad.

I hope to see you soon! Maybe we could have the dinner I prepared together.

Sincerely,

Alexandra.

Dave looked disgusted.

"Sounds like the father was a real jerk!”

“Sure does.” Dave agreed.

Katy quickly opened the next letter.

November 17, 1989

Dear Bob,

I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown. I don’t know if I will be able to carry this baby to term. Could you please come over, I have nowhere else to turn. I was with Jack last weekend and got so attached but now he is giving me the cold shoulder again and another excuse why he can’t come in to see me. He told me he doesn’t want me under any circustances to show myself in Park City until after the baby is born. He does not want anyone in Park City or especially his wife to know anuthing about this pregnancy. I guess he feels he has too much to lose. He told me if his wife or any of his friends had any idea, it could jeopardize everything as far as his financial position. Apparently he and his wife are not only in bed in marriage but in business as well. Sometimes it just seems so unfair. Since moving to Salt Lake I’m lucky if I see Jack once a month and it is just not enough to sustain me. I’m sorry to pour my heart out to you like this Bob, but I just have to talk to someone. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy with loneliness and having to deal with this all by myself. Thank you for listening.Your friendship and confidence has come to mean so much to me.   

You are my friend forever,

Alexandra

Katy had tears in her eyes as she read this letter.

“Wow, that’s tough! I know how abandoned she feels. I felt the same way when Todd left me.”

Dave nodded.

“I know, that was a really tough time.”

They read a few more letters and then finally came to the last letter in the stack.

Dave read it.

Decemer 7, 1990

My dearest Bob, will you marry me?  I have grown to love you so much! Having you there holding my hand as I delivered my precious baby girl was a gift I can never repay. I am resigned that my life with Jack is over. I really don’t want him to have anything to do with my beautiful daughter. Would you mind being Amanda’s surrogate dad? I think you would make a fabulous one!

My undying love always

Alexandra

Dave had a tear in his eye this time as he read the letter.

“I guess our dad was a more loving guy than I thought he was. Here all these years years I thought he was pretty much a useless alcoholic but these letters reveal a person I never really knew.

“Oh I knew daddy had a big heart. He showed me his big heart countless times as I struggled to raise my three girls alone. I guess there was more to our dad  though than than I even knew.”

“Yep, both of our eyes have been opened about dad tonight!”