Accepted for publication in "Sage Woman"
What makes someone beautiful is the
light in their eyes and the depth of their souls. It emanates from their
heart and shines through any outer disguise. Sometimes being blessed with
outward beauty can be a curse because that is all people look at instead
of searching deeper to see who a person really is. There are all kinds of
beauty in the world. Some people are ugly both inside and outside. Some people
are beautiful both inside and out. I have known people that are beautiful
on the outside but do such ugly acts that they become ugly people. Others
I have known were very homely people but their warmth and kindness have erased
any outward appearance and they have become truly beautiful.
When I was in college, I met a girl from a
small country town. She had crooked teeth and was rather homely. She
spoke with a country hick accent and pronounced words differently than I had
ever heard others speak them. Her clothes were out of date and had a funny old
fashioned style to them. I thought she was really odd and yet she was
always very friendly and outgoing. After a while I got so I enjoyed her
more and more. We started working together in Sunday School with young
children and became good friends.
It is true that often people become beautiful
as we get to know them. She found out that I was really hoping to finish
college because I had only a couple of quarters left but I had a new baby and
couldn't afford a sitter. She told me she wanted to help me and to bring
my son over when I needed to go to class. I offered to pay her but she said no,
that she wanted to do this for me. It was such a kind and unselfish act.
Though we have lost touch, she is still a beautiful person in my eyes.
A beauty that has lasted through time.
Once I was vacationing at a resort in Idaho,
I noticed a young attractive couple having fun, laughing and cuddling in the
hot tub. I remember thinking how in love they seemed. I moved my lounge
chair to a different angle to catch the sun rays better. It was then I
noticed that the other half of the man's face was disfigured with a dark
purple birthmark. It had some skin hanging down in an unnatural way. His
girlfriend was oblivious to it, kissing and hugging him like she wasn't even
aware of his birthmark. It inspired me to look beyond the outer shell of
a person and move into their soul. .
One night I met a man in a dance club. He was
very handsome but I noticed he had some scars on one side of his face. I
asked him what had happened and he told me he had been hit by a car when he was
fifteen. He didn't know that I was very depressed that night. I was
in deep despair and feeling suicidal. I had been through a
difficult divorce and had fallen in love with a man who was married but had
told me he was unhappy and was leaving her. As time went on I realized
he was playing us both along as well as a couple of other women. It completely
broke my heart being betrayed by two men, him and my ex-husband and I was wary
of ever trusting a man again. I didn't trust this man, yet something
about his scars made me feel close to him. We were both scarred in a
certain way. It inspired a poem.
Crippled
We're both
crippled you and I
We both suffered
the tragedy of terrible accidents
We see on your
face what cruel fate dealt you
Such a
handsome face to be marred by a sudden wrong move
My face is
beautiful
I show no
scars
But the
wounds around my heart
No one
would want to look upon
Over time we fell in love and I eventually
married this man. He had a kindness, sensitivity, and sense of humor that
erased any scars in my eyes. Sometimes beauty has to be stripped of it's
disguises to find the real thing, like a diamond in the rough. Beauty is
also often like a rosebud and it has to open up so we can look deep inside to
see its true beauty.
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